did you all hear that sound? yeah, that was me falling on my face *splat*.

yeah- just got the text message (a long one) that included "ur friend."

Oh well, I had no business trying to play with a 24 year old anyway.

So I have decided to return to the thinking about thinking about dating stage. I'm also considering shaving my head and joining a Buddhist monastery; I like that option the best.

My ego is bruised but I took the shot at least.

I love all of you. Thank you for joining me on my journey to middle school; I now remember why I hated it. If I try to behave this way again, I hope at least one of you will smack me over the head.

Thank you for your love and support,

Cougar Smurf

We now return to our regularly scheduled program.

[editor’s note: friendship with Jason survived this temporary craziness unscathed.]

just when we think we can completely discount our horoscopes

today’s horoscope:

You can feel like an outsider this week until Saturday night when the Moon leaves your secretive 12th House and rockets into your exuberant sign. Playing it cool is unlikely as you express your feelings without reservation. Your honesty could scare off an insecure individual, so you might want to tone things down if you want to make or keep a connection with someone a little less outgoing than you.

hmmm.... maybe I should have read this before Cougar Smurf went on the prowl via text message. doh!

waiting, not chasing

Penelope and Savannah chatted with me and helped me feel better. Plans were schemed and scrapped. Savannah, wisely, reminded me to not chase boys but to let them come to me. I was left on my own to wait and see what developed.

The afternoon passed into the evening and still no reply from Jason. The longer I waited, the more my mind raced. What did I do?? I sent a suggestive text message to a classmate! Then, to make matters worse, behaving like I was back in Middle School all day just adds insult to injury. I barley stopped short of passing a him a note saying, "If you like me check yes or no." I know, I know. pitiful.

I was grateful when Colette called to see if I wanted to go temple with her. I heartily accepted, grateful for the respite from my overactive mind. As luck would have it, traffic prevented us from making it to temple on time, so we bagged that plan and dined on Thai food instead. Our conversation included Colette sharing her dating woes with me… I thought to myself, “She is so young, smart and beautiful and is having all this bad luck; what hope is there for me to survive dating?”

The evening ended early with me seriously considering entering a Buddhist monastery and avoiding this whole, painful, awkward dating thing. We'll see. There might still be a chance. But I'm thinking if he was interested, I would know by now. I just hope that he'll still look me in the eye.

Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.