Tuesday, May 4, 2010

waiting, not chasing

Penelope and Savannah chatted with me and helped me feel better. Plans were schemed and scrapped. Savannah, wisely, reminded me to not chase boys but to let them come to me. I was left on my own to wait and see what developed.

The afternoon passed into the evening and still no reply from Jason. The longer I waited, the more my mind raced. What did I do?? I sent a suggestive text message to a classmate! Then, to make matters worse, behaving like I was back in Middle School all day just adds insult to injury. I barley stopped short of passing a him a note saying, "If you like me check yes or no." I know, I know. pitiful.

I was grateful when Colette called to see if I wanted to go temple with her. I heartily accepted, grateful for the respite from my overactive mind. As luck would have it, traffic prevented us from making it to temple on time, so we bagged that plan and dined on Thai food instead. Our conversation included Colette sharing her dating woes with me… I thought to myself, “She is so young, smart and beautiful and is having all this bad luck; what hope is there for me to survive dating?”

The evening ended early with me seriously considering entering a Buddhist monastery and avoiding this whole, painful, awkward dating thing. We'll see. There might still be a chance. But I'm thinking if he was interested, I would know by now. I just hope that he'll still look me in the eye.

Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.


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